i wish i could be in love with you.
but i can't.
you don't actually exist.
i'm just in love with the idea of you.
oh well.
it's nice to think about.

what direction?

life begins at the intersection.

first one of these in awhile

finally

i am getting a place to rest my head

1922 Kodachrome Test

moby by david lynch

well...

song number one, currently

more wisdom from dallas clayton

The longer we live with the projections
of what life is like on the other side of the wall
the more disappointed we will be
when we scale it
armed to the teeth
and looking for someone to blame.

i've never been more terrified in my entire life

robin hood

photography by dylan reyes
styling by justin wooten

nwo.

SLOW DEATH _ BIRDIE BOURDEAUX from Peter Curtis on Vimeo.

when it rains, it pours

thing have been happening. so many things. and even more things are happening too. some good, some bad. mostly good. i feel like my life could make or break at any given moment. i'm just holding on and hoping i don't fall off at this point.

life, currently:

Sun is shining.
Birds are singing.
Flowers are growing.
Clouds are looming.
And I am flying.

happy holiday

beliefs

Is it so terribly inconceivable to comprehend God with one's senses? Why does he hide in a cloud of half-promises and unseen miracles? How can we believe in the faithful when we lack faith? What will happen to us who want to believe, but can not? What about those who neither want to nor can believe? Why can't I kill God in me? Why does He live on in me in a humiliating way - despite my wanting to evict Him from my heart? Why is He, despite all, a mocking reality I can't be rid of?

dream actress

her name is hannah murray.
yes, please.

revenge:

something is brewing inside me. maybe it was the fact that avatar won best picture last night at the golden globes. maybe its because I'm so poor. maybe its because I'm celibate. maybe its that I hate school.

but I'm waiting. and plotting and scheming. writing and writing and writing. planning. hoping. praying. this is why i'm here. this is now.

this is really happening.

Top 5 Albums of 2009

Who cares if the year is already past? This is my blog.

#5

















Tarot Sport - Fuck Buttons

This album makes me want to be a better person. Period. If you cannot listen to it and be inspired, then I have no idea what the hell is wrong with you. My dream is to DJ a party that gets so insane that I can throw a Fuck Buttons track on and people will dance their hearts out.

Favorite Tracks: Olympians, Flight of the Feathered Serpent

#4

















Actor - St. Vincent

This album lies somewhere between beautifully orchestrated and horribly noisy. The way Annie Clark can move between the two so effortlessly astounds me. A lot of the tracks start out calming and sweet and then, without radically changing, become dissonant and harsh. And then the actual song starts.

Favorite Tracks: Save Me From What I Want, Laughing With a Mouth of Blood, Marrow

#3





















No More Stories Are Told Today, I’m Sorry They Washed Away, No More Stories The World Is Grey, I’m Tired Let’s Wash Away - Mew

I love Mew. Frengers basically is my junior year of high school in music form. She Spider has one of my all time favorite guitar solos. It took me awhile to get into And the Glass Painted Kites, but I finally snapped. But I must confess, the first time I heard Mew's ostentatiously long titled album, I was underwhelmed. After many long talks with my good friend, Greg, I finally was able to see that this was Mew's most accomplished record to date. A plethora of textures, tones, and moods all add up to be a moving piece of music. Its not a suite like "...Kites", but it somehow feels more cohesive.

Favorite Tracks: Introducing Palace Players, Repeatbeater, Hawaii

#2



















Merriweather Post Pavilion - Animal Collective

Everything that needs to be said about this album has already been said. And if you've listened to it, you understand. I showed this record to my classically trained, jazz fusion listening dad, and even he couldn't deny the power of the melodies.

Favorite Tracks: In the Flowers, Summertime Clothes, Lion in a Coma

#1



















80 T.O 08 HAHA - Sonpub

Who cares if this album came out in 08? As prevoiusly mentioned this is MY blog. And this was my record of the year. I first heard this magnum opus in a drug induced haze at Michael Madrid's house one very early morning. Sitting there I felt like I was transported back in time and was hearing an advance release of Pet Sounds. While this comparison might outrage some, both albums have similar amounts of emotional impact within me. While most dance music doesn't really make you feel, this record can. While most dance songs are repetive and monotonous after awhile, these songs constantly evolve. Each track is a journey that doesn't end where it began. Sonpub really is the future of music. If and when some American pop star enlists him to produce songs, he will become the most in demand producer in the industry. Mark my words. Also special props to one of my best friends, Dylan Reyes, for being the recipient of this magical album from the Japanese artist himself at SXSW.

Favorite Tracks: Innocent Shonen Boyyy, My Darlin, I Love You