everything feels different.

but everything's the same.

please be there for me.
i'll be waiting.
with a gun and a pack of sandwiches.
and nothing.
nothing.

fitter happier

every time i get drunk.
i realize what a great album ok computer is.
and how it really did change my life.

well not maybe EVERY TIME.
but OK Computer is the album.
the album.
holy shit.
I'm really fucking drunk.

all I want for Christmas.

is to go somewhere else for New Years.
And see someone else.

moving

maybe.
oh god, please let this work out.

stepping up

i'm stepping up
on the ladder.
a few more rungs
and i'm there.

dreams are funny things

i dreamed a dream.
it showed me things.
like how ignorant I am.
and how I'm wasting my time.
it was so obvious.
i'm not going to be ignorant.
i'm not going to waste any more time.

2008 has been the worst year of my life.
complete with:
alcoholism,
a million failed friendships/relationships,
alienation,
joblessness,
interventions,
a band breaking up,
writers block,
and being on my own for the first time.

but i'm changing.

and making things better.

perfection

perfect.
just perfect.

inhale exhale

breathe in
breathe out
she's not here
but i keep breathing
hoping
praying

she talks with little effort
it all comes out as poetry
and i smile a good deal these days


she makes me want to be a better person
makes me want to change
for the better

i hope i'm not seventeen anymore

I suck

i wanted to write
i don't think i can
put it into words
what i want to say
and my ideas
and theories
into words

so I downloaded the new-ish panic! at the disco album.

and then I hung my head in shame.

and I also know that the '!' was taken out of their name. but i like it anyway.

Now as I listen to it on my porch on the last night at this house (I'm moving tomorrow) I am finding myself thinking This album is fucking good. Now let me say something. I am NOT a Panic! At The Disco fan. But this album does something else that their previous work didn't do. Many bands have tried to it but few have succeeded. Even those who fail sometime become popular. This band successfully re-invented the past with the release of "Pretty. Odd". They looked back and built upon the great musical traditions that bands like the Beatles, Stones, Kinks and Zombies had laid.


With this album Panic! enters the elite band of artists like the Brian Jonestown Massacre and Neutral Milk Hotel. These bands do not play Rolling Stones covers with different lyrics. They expand upon the genre while still making the original inspiration audible in their music.


and I think that's pretty fucking cool.

i restarting this blog

if I wanna be a journalist I better fucking start writing. don't you think?