so I downloaded the new-ish panic! at the disco album.

and then I hung my head in shame.

and I also know that the '!' was taken out of their name. but i like it anyway.

Now as I listen to it on my porch on the last night at this house (I'm moving tomorrow) I am finding myself thinking This album is fucking good. Now let me say something. I am NOT a Panic! At The Disco fan. But this album does something else that their previous work didn't do. Many bands have tried to it but few have succeeded. Even those who fail sometime become popular. This band successfully re-invented the past with the release of "Pretty. Odd". They looked back and built upon the great musical traditions that bands like the Beatles, Stones, Kinks and Zombies had laid.


With this album Panic! enters the elite band of artists like the Brian Jonestown Massacre and Neutral Milk Hotel. These bands do not play Rolling Stones covers with different lyrics. They expand upon the genre while still making the original inspiration audible in their music.


and I think that's pretty fucking cool.

i restarting this blog

if I wanna be a journalist I better fucking start writing. don't you think?

rants and musings

there was a time when I knew what I wanted.

unfortunately this is not the case, now.

I am confused I am lost.

I'm nineteen years old. I study filmmaking at a small liberal arts school. I am beginning to think that I hate it. I didn't have any other ideas to choose from when it came to the choice of what I would be doing for the rest of my life. so I chose filmmaking. no biggie.

I'm nineteen years old. I'm in love with someone who treats me like her annoying kid brother. she doesn't know the severity of my feelings. I see her almost everyday. she doesn't have to do a thing to make me feel this way. she just has to be her. and that really makes things hard. because in my mind, she can do no wrong. to tell her my feelings would ruin our friendship. and I don't want that.

I'm nineteen years old. I don't know where God is. I haven't been to church in nearly 3 months. mostly because I am usually too hung over from the Saturday night before. God doesn't speak to me. if he does, I can't hear him. I'd rather take drugs and drink alcohol than be responsible. my home is a very spirtual one, and I hate it. everything is related to the bible or someway that God deals with things. but I don't think that God deals with things. in my opinion, God is an observer not one to interact.

I'm nineteen years old and I'm slowly destroying myself.

--ElstonGunn